The memories below are shared by a college student. As she grew up, her family developed trust and communication skills by using “coupons”—tools that can help a parent spend special time with a child and start dialogs to build a stronger relationship.

Coupons Made a Difference in My Life

Sometimes, growing up was hard for me. But growing up would have been even harder without my parents to talk to, or my coaches to cheer me on, or my teachers to give me guidance. One special way that my Mom supported me through the tough times was by using "coupons" to help start conversations with me.

When I was 7 or 8 years old, my Mom started leaving coupons for me to find. The coupons were like invitations to have special one-on-one time with her, whenever I wanted. Mom would always attach something to the coupon, like a keychain or a pair of cute socks, or the coupon itself might even be a cartoon clipping that would make me laugh.

These coupons became very important to me in eighth grade. I was attending a new school, and there were gang members in the area. Some of them had dropped out of school and were pressuring others to do the same. One gang member even approached me, saying that he wanted to "make me his girl." I said "no," but my friends all asked me why I didn't want to go out with him. I felt a lot of pressure!

Luckily, my Mom was there to support me. On the first day of school, she left a coupon on my pillow, inviting me to spend one-on-one time with her. The next afternoon, I gave her my coupon and told her that I needed to talk about the incident with the gang member. After listening to me, she said that my instincts about the gang member were "right on." She said that she was confident that I could stand up for myself.

The next day at school, the gang member arrived and asked me again if I was "gonna be his girl, or what?" I said, "I don't go out with gang members. And why are you still hanging around school if gang life is so great?" Then I walked away. My friends saw this, and that made me feel even more proud that I stood up for myself. It showed them that they didn't have to accept the "gang mentality" and it was okay to make your own decisions.

Looking back, I feel that my Mom's support for me in making that one decision helped me continue to have good judgment and self-esteem today. The coupons helped strengthen our communication and our bond. Now, at college, I still talk with my Mom about everything going on in my life, and she continues to provide guidance and support. This is possible now because of the groundwork laid by a simple piece of paper-a coupon!