Grandparents: Are You Cool?

If your grandchild says to you, "You rock," that's a compliment. "You rule" is another compliment. Both mean that you are "cool." If you're described as "wicked cool," then you have reached the top, you are extremely cool. Of course, depending on where you live, the words expressing compliments may be different.

Getting the lingo straight is just one of the many challenges in an increasingly intergenerational world. Because grandparents can have such an important influence on the lives of children and adolescents, every grandparent tries to be good, not just cool. Many achieve the status of both good and cool!

The grandparent/grandchild relationship is second in emotional importance only to the parent/child relationship. ¹ By talking with your grandchild and listening to him, you can influence his values and behavior. For example, this unique relationship between grandparent and grandchild presents many opportunities to discuss the dangers of alcohol, tobacco, and illegal drugs. Grandparents can help keep youth mentally healthy and drug free.

The World Has Changed for Grandparents

Today's grandparents grew up a world without child safety seats, bicycle helmets, and smoke alarms. They need to get up to date about safety, learn how to childproof their homes, and put babies to sleep on their backs instead of tummies. Without saying a word, grandparents can be great role models by buckling up themselves or eating nutritious snacks.

Parents can help grandparents by sharing with them the latest health and safety guidelines. Grandparents can ask for guidance from the parents about priorities regarding everything from haircuts to discipline to electronic "stuff."

The Internet Opens the World of Information for Grandparents

Thanks to the Internet, grandparents have access to many resources about everything from helping with math homework to telling jokes to driving bumper cars. They can build and maintain long distance relationships with their grandchildren by communicating via e-mail, sending pictures and drawings, and trading information about their favorite Web sites. Telephone and "snail mail" continue to be good ways to keep in touch and maintain a relationship.

Local public libraries have Web sites with recommendations for books to read to grandchildren. Other credible and fun sites are sponsored by museums, which can be great sources of ideas and information. Federal Government sites, including this Family Guide, have resources and suggestions for parents and grandparents as well as children. In addition to articles, the Family Guide has downloadable coupons, free e-cards, suggestions for conversation starters, and family activities.

The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Administration (SAMHSA) and the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism sponsor the "young teen's spot for info on alcohol and resisting peer pressure." Too Smart to Start is geared to parents and caregivers, including grandparents, as well as youth. SAMHSA's Building Blocks for a Healthy Future offers games, songs, activities, and materials for caregivers of 3- to 6-year-olds. Tips on how to address bullying and how to talk with teenagers are among the resources available through SAMSHA's Youth Violence Prevention program.

Grandparents can use the Internet to find out what the latest slang words are and what they mean. They can keep up and bond with their grandchildren in countless ways-by visiting school Web sites, finding tips on sharing memories, and getting suggestions for fun things to do and how to have an open mind in a changing world.

Some Tips for Being Cool

Whether online or in person or by telephone, grandparents can help ensure that their grandchildren have positive attitudes about aging, knowledge of their families' culture and traditions, and healthy lifestyles. Some of the cool ways you can do so are listed below:^2,3,4

What To Say

• Be real. Express your feelings, both sad and happy.
• Cut to the chase. Rambling and repetition are turnoffs.
• Avoid whining. Downplay everyday, minor complaints.
• Bite your tongue instead of being quick to offer advice or criticism.

What To Do

• Set a good example. Buckle up. Remember your Ps and Qs. Show that family is important.
• Consider your image. Is it cool? You may decide to exchange those polyester pants for jeans when attending your grandson's sporting events.
• Encourage your grandchild. Support him by attending school functions and other activities.
• Develop some common interests to build and maintain your relationship with him. Have fun together.

How To Connect

• Tune into your grandchild. Listen carefully with your eyes and ears.
• Share her world. Get to know her words and ways, likes and dislikes.
• Let her teach you about something she has learned about computers. She will feel important and respected.

Whatever you say and do, love your grandchild for himself. He'll think you are cool as a person and as a grandparent. And you'll be an involved, caring adult who helps him fully develop emotionally and socially.¹

Every time a child is born, so are grandparents.

"Nobody can do for little children what grandparents do. Grandparents sort of sprinkle stardust over the lives of little children." ~Alex Haley, author

Sources

• Administration on Aging. Resources for Grandparents.
• ChildCare.gov. Official source of all U.S. Government information on childcare.
• Safe Kids Worldwide. Spoil Your Grandchildren with Safety.
• AARP Grandparent Information Center. Resources to help grandparents in various family roles.
• A Grandparents Guide for Family Nurturing & SafetyThe Foundation For Grandparenting.
• U.S. Consumer Product Safety Administration. A Grandparents Guide for Family Nurturing & Safety.