underage drinking, alcohol facts at a Family Guide

Think seriously about the example you set for your children.

Perhaps the most important thing you can do to get ready for this talk is to seriously think about your own thoughts and feelings about alcohol and the way your children see you use alcohol. Alcohol-Free Weekend (April 2–4) is a good time to start. It is a chance for parents to set an example for their children—and perhaps look closely at and change the example they have set in the past. People who have trouble or feel awkward during those 3 days are urged to contact agencies that can tell them about alcoholism and its early symptoms.

Answer the questions below¹ to help you understand alcohol’s place in your life or the life of someone you know. It’s an easy, risk-free way to find out if alcohol may be affecting the way you, your friends, or your family members work and live.

Have you ever felt you should cut down on your drinking?
Have people annoyed you by criticizing your drinking?
Have you ever felt bad or guilty about your drinking?
Have you ever had a drink first thing in the morning to steady your nerves or get rid of a hangover (eye opener)?

People with an alcohol problem often answer “yes” to one or more of the following questions. To learn more about alcohol abuse and its early symptoms, talk with a physician or get information from a treatment facility. To find the closest facility, contact the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services by going online, ; or calling 1-800-729-6686, TTD 301-230-7199.

Think about factors that put your child at risk.

Some children are more likely than others to drink alcohol and develop alcohol-related problems, including health, school, legal, family, and emotional problems. Risk factors include²:

Alcohol or other drug use before the age of 15.
A parent who is a problem drinker or an alcoholic.
Close friends who use alcohol and/or other drugs.
Aggressive, antisocial, or hard-to-control behavior from an early age.
Childhood abuse and/or other major traumas.
Current behavioral problems and/or problems with school work.
Parents who do not support them, talk to them, or keep track of their whereabouts.
Ongoing anger or rejection from parents and/or harsh, inconsistent discipline.

Know the facts about alcohol.

Remind yourself and other adults in your family, or in your child’s life, about the dangers of alcohol. Know the facts when you talk with your child.³

Alcohol is a strong drug that slows down the body and mind. It impairs coordination; slows reaction time; and impairs vision, clear thinking, and judgment.
Beer and wine are not “safer” than hard liquor. A 12-ounce can of beer, a 5-ounce glass of wine, and 1.5 ounces of hard liquor all have the same amount of alcohol and have the same effects on the body and mind.
On average, it takes 2 to 3 hours for a single drink to leave the body’s system. Nothing can speed up the process, including drinking coffee, taking a cold shower, or “walking it off.”
People tend to be very bad at judging how seriously alcohol has affected them. That means many people who drive after drinking think they can control a car but actually cannot.
Anyone can develop a serious alcohol problem, including a teenager.

Be clear in your own mind about your expectations.

Think about the rules and expectations you already have made in your family or those you want to make. Here are some ideas⁴:

People under 21 will not drink or be served alcohol.
Older siblings, family members, or friends will not give alcohol to people under 21 or encourage them to drink.
Your child should leave parties or activities where alcohol is being served.
Don’t ride in a car when the driver has been drinking, if you can avoid it. It is not safe. Walk or try to get a ride with an adult friend who has not been drinking. If you must get in a car with a drinking driver, sit in the back seat in the middle, lock your door, and put on your safety belt⁵.

Let your child know why you’re having this talk.

Even if this is not a topic you have talked about openly before, get started and let your child know that⁶:

You want your child to avoid alcohol.
You want your child to have self-respect.
You want him to know that drinking is illegal.
You want him to know that drinking at his age can be dangerous.
You may have a family history of alcoholism, or there may be other things that put your child at risk for alcohol abuse.

Let your child know that breaking the rules will have consequences.

Plan to discuss ways your child can fit in and have fun without drinking and how to turn down alcohol when it is offered to her. Discuss the consequences of using alcohol with your children. Include the health, school, emotional, legal, and social problems as well as punishment. Make sure your child is an active part of the talk and of the decisionmaking process.

Ask open-ended questions—ones that don’t have a yes or no answer.
Let your child share her thoughts and feelings without being stopped.
Control your emotions. If your child says something that you don’t agree with, take a deep breath and try to find a constructive answer.
Let her know you respect her views. She will be more likely to respect yours.

Try these questions to get your talk started.

What do you think about the dangers of people under 21 using alcohol?
What do you think about people your age who use alcohol?
How many ways can you think of to say no when you are offered alcohol?
How can I help you avoid other children, pressures, and situations that may lead to you using alcohol?
If we were hosting a teen party, what kinds of snacks and nonalcoholic drinks could we serve? What fun activities can we plan, and what do you think we should do if someone brings alcohol?
What do you think is a fair punishment for breaking our family rules about alcohol?

Plan to keep the dialog going.

Tell your child that you love her and want her to have a healthy and happy life. Let him know, by your actions and your words, that you respect him and care about him. In numerous surveys, teens say that they pay attention to parents who are interested and involved in their children’s lives. Emphasizing the family’s expectations not to drink alcohol before the age of 21 is one of the most important talks you will have with your child. During these discussions, both the conversation’s tone and content can help build a trusting relationship and encourage future dialog about alcohol and other tough issues.

Sources

¹U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, Center for Substance Abuse Prevention. The Quick Quiz Questionnaire, last referenced March 8, 2004.

²National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism. Make A Difference—Talk to Your Child About Alcohol, last referenced March 8, 2004.

³Ibid.

⁴Ibid.

⁵National Association for Children of Alcoholics. What Can Kids Do?, last referenced March 8 2004.

⁶Ibid.

Additional Resources