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A Family Guide to Keeping Youth Mentally Healthy & Drug Free

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Start Talking Before They Start Drinking

Adolescents often overlook the risks of inhalants. Although they can be injured, suffer serious medical effects, or die any time they use inhalants, five in eight 8th-graders do not see great risk in trying them.

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Quiz

Which of these statements gives a true picture of peer pressure among teenagers?

Most teens don't care what their friends think about risky behavior.
No, teens do care what their friends think. For example, 12- to 17-year-olds who think that their close friends disapprove of drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes, or using marijuana are much less likely than other youth to use these substances.
(Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, 2005. 2004 National Survey on Drug Use and Health, last referenced 6/27/06.)
Young people connect risky behavior with being popular.
Yes, a recent study found that nearly 75 percent of teens believe their peers who are seen as popular are more likely to engage in drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes or marijuana, or gambling than "unpopular" peers.
(Parent World, 2004. The Pressure Popular, last referenced 6/27/06.)
Teens think that they can resist peer pressure.
Yes, research has shown that most teens believe they can stand up for what they believe and resist peer pressure.
(University of Wisconsin Extension, 2004. Teens and Their Peers, Parents Make a Difference!, last referenced 6/27/06.)

Saying No

Many young people report that risking parental disapproval of underage drinking is the key reason they have chosen not to drink-even more important than doing what other kids are doing.² However, your child may need your support to resist. Some ways to back up your expectations are to:

Help your child practice refusal skills, including several ways to say “no”: “No thanks, I don't want any beer” or “Nope, my Dad and I are working on the car tomorrow morning; I have to get up early.” Let him put the blame on you by saying something like, “No-my parents absolutely will ground me for weeks if I have any alcohol.”
Agree on a code word for him to use that means “come and get me now.” Choose a word that she can use easily and that makes sense in a phone call. For example, using someone's name in any sentence could be a code: “Is Angie there?” or “If Aunt Angie calls, tell her I'll meet her on Tuesday.” Or use a regular word, as in, “I forgot to tell you to buy chocolate chips so I can make cookies.” You, as the parent, will know what that means. Make sure your child can trust you to come pick him up right away at any time. And he needs to know that you won't blame him for being someplace where he didn't know alcohol would be served.

You have a key role in helping your child choose friends. However, if you criticize your child's friends, he probably will see it as an attack on him. Find out why these friends are important to him, make sure your concerns are well-founded, and talk about the behaviors that bother you-not the friends. Discuss possible short- and long-term consequences of the behaviors, help your child feel good about himself, highlight your trust in him, and make it easy for him to meet other young people. But realize that you may not be able to get your child to end a friendship if it is strong.³

Sticking Together

Because peer pressure can be helpful or harmful, your teenager may need encouragement to get involved in activities where she can find friends whose outlook and character are in line with your family's values. Together, your child and her friends can give moral support to each other, which will make it much easier to resist the wrong kind of peer pressure. Besides, by saying “no,” they may give someone else the courage to do the same thing.

Sources

Additional Resources

Bodies in Motion, Minds at Rest. On Making and Keeping Friends: Friendships Are Flowers in the Garden of Life, last referenced 6/19/2006.

Parents. The Anti-Drug. Help With Peer Pressure, last referenced 6/19/2006.

Gale Encyclopedia of Children's Health, 2006. Peer Pressure Health Article, last referenced 6/16/2006.

Conversation Starters

Peer pressure only works if you let it-if you refuse to let it intimidate you, it loses its power.⁴ Does that make sense? Do you sometimes make decisions based on what other kids will think?
Most young people must deal with peer pressure every day. What pressures do you feel, and how do you deal with it?
Are there cliques in your school? How does that affect you?
Peer pressure isn't always (or even usually) the obvious stuff they show in TV commercials. ("Wanna try a joint? No? Whassamadda? Chicken?" ⁵) What do you think of that statement? Does this sort of pressure happen in your school?
Do you know anyone who's always trying to get people to do something? Like what? Do they usually go along with these ideas?

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Created on 7/25/06