Parents often are challenged to find safe, properly supervised activities for their children after school and during weekends, vacations, and summer break—times when kids may be on their own. Therefore, it’s important to teach your child how to stay safe when you or other caregivers may not be around. Does your child know how to recognize and avoid risky situations when they arise?

What To Know

Your child may not always know which situations could have harmful consequences. You warn her not to talk to strangers or run into the street, but you also need to talk with her about other dangers, such as alcohol, tobacco, and illegal drugs. More than a quarter of young people use marijuana at age 14 or younger.¹ Worse, almost one-fifth of young people first use alcohol at age 14 or younger, and those children are the most likely to become dependent on alcohol as adults.²

Start talking with your child about these dangers early, and prepare him for the moment when you’re not there and he has to make a choice about whether to use drugs, smoke, or drink alcohol.

You also need to discuss the dangers of being around others who make risky choices. You can help your child learn how to recognize and back away from situations that could have harmful consequences. For example, discuss with her how to say no if someone offers her alcohol, tobacco, or drugs at a party, or if someone who has been drinking—either a teen or an adult— offers her a ride home.

Make sure your child knows to call you or another trusted adult if he can’t get a safe ride home from a party or other event. Paying attention to his own feelings and beliefs about what is right and wrong can help him know when a situation could be dangerous. In general, if your child feels uncomfortable because a trusted adult is not present, he should know that it’s time to leave.

What To Do

Roleplay with your child so that he can practice saying no to things that are harmful or against the rules. For example, pretend to offer your child a drink or a cigarette. Let your child take a turn being the person who suggests something that isn't safe. Then, have fun thinking of different ways to say no.

Repeat role-playing at different ages and stages of your child’s development. A 10-year-old may find it easy to turn down alcohol; a 15-year-old may be more curious—or more reluctant to act differently if others are drinking.³

What To Say

Make sure your child is comfortable with what he wants to say. Coach him to use his own words and expressions. For instance, a shy child might simply say, “I gotta go” and then quickly walk away. A more confident child might say, “What? Are you talking to me? Forget it!” Children who have trouble refusing offers from older kids or adults may need extra practice in giving a strong, believable reason for backing away from a situation that they think could be dangerous.⁴

One way that children can avoid potentially risky situations is to choose their friends wisely. Young people who have friends who engage in problem behavior—delinquency, substance abuse, violence, or school absenteeism—are much more likely to engage in the same problem behavior.⁵

On the other hand, peers can be a positive force. As children get older, they choose friends who share their tastes and values. Good friends can help each other keep sound values by talking each other out of, rather than into, potentially dangerous situations. There is no better time than now to discuss with your child the kind of friends she wants—and the kind of friend she wants to be.

Sources

• Parents: The Anti-Drug. Practice Role-Playing to Address Peer Pressure, last referenced 9/5/2007.
• SAMHSA's Family Guide To Keeping Youth Mentally Healthy & Drug Free. Set Rules for Your Children About Alcohol, Tobacco, and Illegal Drugs (with video), last referenced 9/5/2007.
• SAMHSA. Tips for Teens (series), last referenced 9/5/2007.